Wellington Leg Objects
The thirteenth ultimo: Wellington Leg’s towne council spent Wednesday in emergency session debating a proposal that would render the towne “imaginary.” Coming on the heels of quoting Marcel Proust in the city’s revised parking ordnances several members objected to the overly philosophical nature of Alternate Side of the Street Parking thought to be handed down from Norman invaders who parked their horses in a herringbone pattern between assaults on the fortifications.
Whig Party boss Big Bob Thunder set the tone by saying “he cannot recall a time when he used his imagination” and suggested that “military action” may be contemplated to enforce the new Proustian Regulations.
The Current Law reads: where man or woman venture to bring their conveyance to rest is a matter of grave concerne to Public Order and a gentle aspect to passersby.
Prudentia Chalfont-Smythe was elected Chief Blogger of Wellington Leg ending a bitter dispute with the mainstream Druidical & Literary whose “virtual paperboy” experiment resulted in several injuries during the very merry month of May. “Virtual Paperboy” was an ill-advised attempt to throw internet content at people’s doorsteps without regard to Scientific Evidence that such content can be dangerous. D&L reporter Bobby G suffered head lacerations when confronted with a “really big blog” about “really big stuff.” Bobby was taken to Kaiser Wilhelm Hospital to study the deeper meaning of Prussia’s ill advised alliance with France. “I’m reading Von Clausewitz,” he said, adding, “I feel better already.”
A grapefruit sized object removed from Bobby’s skull proved to be a grapefruit. DCI Borchardt interviewed Wendy Wenders of Prussia Close, a notorious blogger with a grapefruit orientation. “It’s all well and good to post articles about grapefruit,” Borchardt warned. “Ms. Wenders crossed the line.” Geraldo reporting with intern M. Proust.