Limestone Massif Baffles Science
Wellington Leg: Geologists at the Polytechnic Institute discovered a large formation of limestone sticking out of the ground a block from Wellington Leg Police Headquarters. The massif damaged a car belonging to Mrs. Edna Ponce Bombardier a distant cousin to the exiled monarch of the Germanies and notorious party goer Irmgard of Thoringia. Mrs. Bombardier’s Jaguar E-type suffered nose damage during the unusual geologic event.
X-rays of the Earl’s Brain reveal a similar pattern according to a spokeman for the Imperial Hospital where the earl is resting after a dyna-plasty treatment. “Dyna-plasty is controversial because we use dynamite to blow up big portions of the brain,” admitted Dr. Wha, owner of the eponymous cafe on Gerund Street. Dr. Wha employed the “drill and shoot” method of tunneling through the outer layer of limestone that protects the adult brain from new information. Once a hole is created it is then filled with discarded box scores garnered from a vast Google data base.
Why Wellington Leg would resemble the earl’s brain is a matter of conjecture according to City Hall. Hizzoner’s brain, long admired for its longitudinal stripes, has been on display in the Historic Rotunda for the past several weeks. The brain can be installed in the mayor’s cranium “in case he needs it,” according to Deputy Mayor Gus Flaubert. “So far, so good,” Gus added.
A waiter at Dr. Wha’s Cafe said the Limestone Sandwich, a new menu item, is selling well. “People in Wellington Leg want healthy choices,” he said. “Limestone is tasty and goes great with black beans.”
A word from Prudentia Chalfont-Smythe, blogger in chief: “Please disregard this entry in its entirety. It is appalling how irresponsible ideas circulate on the Internet. Rest assured that if damage to a Jaguar E-type is the sort of thing blogged about, the entire house of cards will come crashing down.”