David Thayer

Wellington Leg: Samuel Moyer, a character from an unpublished novel, is fed up with obscurity.  Sammy exhibits sociopathic tendencies while displaying a genius for numbers in the novel whose title cannot be mentioned in the pre-IPO lockdown phase. “I’m a minor character,” he said, “But, come on, if the author had done a better job I’d have my own character blog by now.”

Legal advisor Graf von Sitzbaedchen agrees: “I’m a recurring character on ONE MORE BITE OF THE APPLE,” he explained. “Sammy is more developed than I am, but I’m incredibly popular in Japan. I can’t even visit Bucharest. Sammy gets no love.”

Hedge Fund Interest? Urquhart Depew, former dogsbody turned hedge fund manager thinks the Lost Character IPO might have legs: “We’re long the yen, short the dollar, and leveraged sixty to one. The upside is huge: the appetite for private equity is infinite, the short interest will get crushed once we sign the characters we need.”

Full disclosure: investing in unknown characters is risky. Urquhart Depew is a fictional character whose personality profile suggests a certain schadenfreude which when comibed with weltschmerzen creates a financial sturm und drang scenario common to Wagnerian opera. Trading is thin and the float is small warns Professor Moriarity on loan from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

What does fiction have to with Wall Street? Sammy Moyer says,” You gotta have a storyline. Even if I suck, you can still reap a windfall if interest rates rise.”

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 24th, 2007 at 9:33 am and is filed under Biting the Apple. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.