Local Woman Traded to Yankees
Wellington Leg: With the non-waiver deadline approaching the Fighting Gastropods dealt Mrs. Frothingmunster to the New York Yankees in exchange for a hedge fund manager and minor leaguers to be named later. Tickets to Radio City Music Hall were part of the complex deal.
Mrs. Frothingmunster, former Postmistress of Wellington Leg, is expected to set up Yankee closer Mariano Rivera. Literary scouts saw her essay on Anthony Burgess and urged the Yanks to make a move. Mrs. F, as she likes to be called, plans to join the team in the Bronx as soon as Wellington Leg Aerodrome recovers from a gummi bear incident.
Included in her repertoire: a greater understanding of post modernism than current Yankee pitchers have displayed thus far.
Mrs. F will not have to clear the waiver wire. It is believed that the Red Sox made an offer to the Gastropods that included prized farmhand Dennis Lehane. The Phillies offfered veteran righthander William Lashner and a tradition of urban renewal the Gastropods found tempting.
Wellington Leg remains mired in fourth place in the Steinbeck League despite wild spending on free agents, free radicals, and free beer. The Dowager Princess may reverse the standings by decree although friend and adviser Hugo Chavez is said to be reluctant. “Too many decrees spoil the Roth,” Hugo said from his corner penthouse. Sports Editor Biff reporting.