Archive for July, 2007

Mega Trends Jostle the Leg

Wednesday, July 11th, 2007

Wellington Leg: Recent surveys have sought Legian opinion in regard to mega trends influencing the lives of the serfs and vassals who toil at the pleasure of L.Ron Flotilla the towne’s preeminent bookmaker. Ron cites the Yankees sub 500 start: “It’s like nature and literature got together to make a boilermaker or something,” Ron said.

With a second Lehane movie on the horizon the Mega-Plex at the Prince of Denmark Shopping Center is preparing for the onslaught of Kinsey-Gennaro fans by cooking “inflatable popcorn.” “We can’t use corn so we’re turning to synthetics,” said theater manager Wm. Bathgate. “We’re serving Fedex popcorn as an experiment,” he added.

Meanwhile corn prices have discounted a fully realized crop according to Ag Complex: “I’ve got a bushel of corn,” he said. Trading opened under the supervision of DCI Borchardt whose query letter to Agent Orange raised eyebrows when the lengthy missive was returned to sender by an aggrieved postal clerk. The Query Letter Pit at the Piltdown Exchange became a frenzy by 0900 local time with bidders elbowing one another. A local librarian suffered a black eye in the melee.

Everyone owing money to the same bookie is a great mega trend according to Sub Prime the once and future stuntman who hopes to play Borchardt in the filmed version of “Wellington Leg Confidential.”

In a case of art imitating life Sub Prime also owes money to Ron. “At thirteen percent a week, it really adds up,” Sub observed. “No, wait, that’s my credit card.”

He Poured Dr. Pepper on Leo Tolstoy

Friday, July 6th, 2007

As One More Bite of the Apple celebrates its third year of literary blogging there are many observations to offer back to the community that has so graciously allowed me to be part of the literary discussion even if knowledge of English is more a detriment than a help in understanding this blog and even though an offhand remark about Herman’s Hermits remains your favorite archival remnant, a testimony to you, dear reader, the accidental tourist.

Blogging has come a long way? No, not really. Individual bloggers have gained respectability: Mark Sarvas appeared in the NYT book review again and has a novel coming out next year. Sarah Weinman is a journalist fixture in the crime fiction world, Ed Champion has moved closer to his beloved Tannenhaus. Our hostess Booksquare threatens to bring grace and rationality to the publishing industry. She wants the business to stop fearing technology. It’s a fine madness.

Here in Wellington Leg things are calmer since the arrival of a crate of Volvo spare parts cannibalized for bandwidth. With head gaskets on the shelves it is safe to say that our crime fiction coverage will thrive and expand. We will liberate the Costco parking lot: a towne without overflow parking is the sort of place where the fools are on our side.

Yes, we featured Leo Tolstoy as a guest blogger, a coup in litblogging circles. It is unfortunate that our intern poured Dr. Pepper on his beard in the hopes of dousing an RSS feed conflagration. Sometimes this blogging business is a messy affair; fans in Belarus appreciate the effort though. Big things come in 2007. Big things.