David Thayer

Wellington Leg: I hate to bring this up in the middle of the dog days but Nan Talese is talking about Oprah and James Frey again, lo these many news cycles into the future. It’s true that some scandals have longer legs than others, and if you’re the British Home Secretary or former commander of the KGB Border Guards, your scandal runs rings around Oprah. That’s not to say that a confessional memoir isn’t just what the doctor ordered. After all, some feel that the purpose of rehab is to acquire a literary agent.

I blog not to praise Oprah who is now effectively running the nation during the hot weather. She has the Cubs in contention, she likes Obama, and like the rest of us can see her reflection in Rudy Guiliani’s forehead. Most of the major candidates have books out there, many of them written in long hand in the tradition of Hunter Thompson although few spark interest among the believers. Imagine the memoirs lurking behind the scenes as the primary season approaches: you want to own Hewlett-Packard stock as a trade.

I think it was Captain Kangaroo who first hinted at the nascient power of television by introducing Crabby Appleton and his villainy to the young minds of the 1950s. Crabby was rotten to the core, he liked to do bad deeds, “sometimes three or four.” Was James Frey watching? Are the Captain’s mellow meanderings enough to drive a man over the edge? The show remained on the air until 1984 when George Orwell took over as writer in chief. The show ran for 29 years and if you watch an episode you may well feel each of those years due to the slow pacing.

I’m not blaming the Captain for dismal memoirs and faux inspiration. Perhaps his triumph of form will gestate through the ages, and as scandals come and go, the true Kangaroo can shine through.  In the meanwhile there are 29 years worth of reruns  available, not to mention the Oprah-Frey footage for the archives.

Crabby Appleton, wherefore art thou?

This entry was posted on Monday, August 6th, 2007 at 9:39 am and is filed under Biting the Apple. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.