Dowager Princess Dissolves European Union
Wellington Leg: What began as a diplomatic scuffle for voting control of Bavaria escalated sharply when the Dowager Princess, freshly acquitted of bookmaking charges, ordered the European Union to dissolve. Her Ladyship spoke during the third inning of a Gastropod’s game after dispensing a quantity of Coors Lite to the fans in the right field bleachers. As a consequence of her action the EU dispatched a mighty armada to make sail for Wellington Leg and blast it to smithereens.
Anthony Hardballs Haggarty a former relief pitcher with the Pods warned that Wellington Leg and her abysmal vassal states were prepared for war with Germany, France, Spain, and the United Kingdom. Mr. Haggarty has assumed the brief of major domo to the Princess and will command a company of other domos, some minor, some major, to confront the Euro nations and give them “a solid trouncing,” he said. Hardballs wore the protective gear of a home plate umpire during his brief announcement, and was met with scattered boos from the box seats.
Wellington Leg may also invade Canada to reclaim British Columbia. The Princess enjoys hockey and CFL rules and vows to improve both salmon habitats and downtown Vancouver parking.
Hizzoner was seen scurrying down Mincing Words Lane after the Princess dropped her bombshell. It isn’t clear if war with the EU will affect the Gastropod’s twinight doubleheader scheduled for Thursday. COSTCO in Goth is sold out of lances and spears, a spokesperson said. Once again, the ban on big box stores may come back to haunt the Leg. Tex Lex reporting.