David Thayer

Wellington Leg: Quick thinking by the earl drove British naval forces into retreat as the Literary Faire entered its third exciting week. The earl was droning on before a packed house of French drama critics when the Royal Navy sailed into Gastropod Alley undetected. Alerted by a series of concussive blasts, the earl turned the microphone seaward, exposing British sailors to lengthy examples of his prose style.

First to flee was the HMS Lady Chatterley: her captain, a Mr. Kangaroo, ordered a broadside fired as she retreated. Severe tire damage to Mrs. Mayhew’s Volvo 240 D was blamed on Lady Chatterley’s array of big guns. Mrs. Mayhew, perhaps unaware that alternate side of the street parking regulations were in effect, shook her fist at the frigate near the Promenade.

The earl’s endless speech then claimed the pride of the Royal Navy, HMS TERRIBLY SORRY.  HMS TS Elliot rocked the casbah with a water balloon crescendo enabling the crew of the TERRIBLY SORRY to avoid the climax of the earl’s recitation.

With the three legged race due to begin Saturday the outcome of the battle for the Literary Prize may be overshadowed by foreign policy imbroglios. While we at the Druidical & Literary remain staunchly feudal in our view, we do wonder if the Dowager Princess can possibly win a war with the great powers in the heat of a pennant race.

Time will tell.  Once again we thank the earl for his bombastic blather without which the Royal Navy may well have sunk the Gastropods and Wellington Leg with them.

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 16th, 2007 at 4:03 pm and is filed under Gripping Melodrama. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.