Facing Certain Defeat the Earl Invents the Search Engine
Wellington Leg: In the camp of the High Constable, the Dauphin’s Deputy in War: The Legate Phineas notes in his diary: “We’ve come at last to the enemy’s dreadful redoubt, a rather squalid towne by the look of it, this Wellington Leg. The High Constable prepares to dispatch his horde at the Earl of Watership Down who we plainly see is being hoist by a great petard onto his steed. Then we hear a terrible clamor and watch, dumbfounded, as a clanking, wheezing montrosity of a device crosses the muddied field in our direction; the High Constable brings forth the prisoner, Eddie, for an explanation. What, he demands to know, is that contraption?”
“A Search Engine, my lord.”
“You mean a siege engine?”
“A Search engine, powered by steam and grass and bits of lumber, the search engine is even now counting and calibrating, edging and squaring, reckoning, fiddling, shuffling and discarding thousands of informations, my lord.”
“That’s preposterous. How does it work?”
“We must give it your scent, then it will search High Constable and offer thousands of helpful suggestions. Of course, it is frightening your men and they are fleeing for their lives.”
“Who invented this terrible machine?”
“Twas the earl, sir, with his pocket knife and tweezers. Look, sir, he’s been unhorsed!”
“We quit the field. This man is a genius!”
“He’s lying face down in the mud.”
“It’s a trick. Inform the Dauphin. We are undone.”