Wellington Leg: Police and towne officials confirmed today that the earl’s search engine is missing. The towering four story behemoth had been parked behind Credit Sweets on Bonaparte Road, not far from the Prince of Denmark Shopping Centre. The driver had stopped to inquire about a sub prime loan, but when he returned the mighty search engine had vanished. Regular readers will recall the pivotal role the engine played in defeating EU forces massed to destroy Wellington Leg.
“This is a political crime,” DCI Borchardt said. An eye witness, Horst Rumsfeld, reported seeing a group of men in tri-corner hats lurking near Credit Sweets, muttering Royalist slogans and discussing film noir. “They are French,” Borchardt said. “We have seized a quantity of cigarette butts from the scene.”
Reminder to readers: the earl’s search engine is painted fire engine red, has large tractor tires and polished external pipes. If you see the device on your way about towne do not approach the engine as it spews forth odd bits of debris and unprocessed fuel. “It could cause injury,” Borchardt cautioned.
The earl was unavailable for comment. He was last seen wearing a Baltimore Ravens sweatshirt and striped trousers. Many believe he has taken refuge in the Dowager Princess’ pied a terre overlooking Gastropod Alley. Since his stunning triumph on the field of battle he is believed hard to be hard at work on a mini-series based on his exploits. Geraldo reporting.