Wellington Leg: I always read the paper from the middle to the end starting with the book reviews and the September Yankee callups. The sports writer in the Toronto paper wrote up last night’s Yankee-Blue Jay epic like he was reporting the Hindenberg disaster with Melky Cabrera in the role of villain-hero-savior-a fine piece of writing that got my day off to a good start.
Well, you may be wondering about the woman with the gun. It turned out that her lunch box had been recalled. I was feeling smug about that until I realized this recall is serious, wide ranging, and includes my Sam Spade model “lunchpail” with the chrome hinges, velvet lining and the automated voice that says “your lunch box is empty” whenever I leave the lid open.
To make matters worse all of Wellington Leg is being referred to me by an erroneous report in the Styles section of the newspaper. The new management at the paper is putting everything in the Styles section so the unwary may read news they never intended to read. I would’ve been better off in the Book Review section. No one reads that.
It looks like Britney Spears has been appointed Ambassador to the United Nations: it’s right here in the Styles section.