<p> Wellington Leg: From the files of Arthur Murray, Private Investigator: Whoa, here’s some news: writing is unmanly. Connie broke the news this morning after learning of my secret diary entries. “This is the Jane Austen Era,” Connie said. “No boyz allowed.”
Connie has her finger on the pulse of cultural upheaval. Her section of the office is a modern day wonder: she trades on the NASDAQ in real time. When she told me she was a millionaire several times over I thought she was kidding; Connie is not kidding. She owns the building.
According to Connie writing is not for men. Most readers are women, the majority of authors, agents, editors, publishers are women. “It’s a mega-trend,” she says. “Become an Australian,” she advises. “It’s different down under.”
I’m in shock. I have no immediate plans to become Australian and I’m not sure how to go about it. Maybe there’s a book out there on the subject. It’s tempting to become a fake Australian. I’ve watched a few Greg Norman interviews: I’ve watched Australian Rules Football, seen a few Emus here and there. With a bush hat and few pints of Swan Lager under my belt maybe I could pull it off.
On the other hand I’ve read PRIDE AND PREJUDICE and sort of enjoyed it. I think I read MADAME BOVARY and sort of liked it. No, come to think of it that was like watching paint dry on the Lifetime channel. Maybe it’s the pacing. Weeks go by. Not much happens.
Give up writing? Move to Perth? Are these good choices? Oh man, wait a minute. If this is the Jane Austen era I need a client named Jane Austen. I yell for a telephone book.
“They’re obsolete,” Connie says.
Obsolete. Just like pay phones and Lucky Strikes. I think I did enjoy MADAME BOVARY. I watched IN HER SHOES didn’t I? Yeah, I’m sure I did.
There used to be this handy Guide entitled “How to Stalk Strain” (in English, “How to Talk Australian”) that is a vital instructional manual if you decide to go that direction.
I’d suggest you start in the beach town of Manly, near Sydney. Home of the Manly Cafe, Manly Souvenirs, and even Manly books. EZ access to Manly and Bondi beaches.
Manly Books! Manly Souvenirs. Is this Paradise Found?
Yeah, I took a pic of a friend once felxing his muscles in front of Manly Souvenirs.
And when they say “Manly,” they really mean “Manly.” Wikipedia tells us:
‘Manly was named by Capt. Arthur Phillip for the indigenous people living there, “their confidence and manly behaviour made me give the name of Manly Cove to this place”.’
Though the fact that a nearby beach and suburb is called “Fairy Bower” makes me wonder excatly what kind of Manly men these are…
Oh no, I’ve written a book from one of Austen’s heroes point of view. Where does that fit in the Girls Only paradigm? Despite the proper equipment, am I out of the club?
Susan, I think you’re okay. Wellington Leg has a soft spot for Austen.