Credit Crisis Traced to Wellington Leg
Wellington Leg: The credit crisis that has embroiled innocent money center banks in a nasty mess began with a local woman, according to Treasury Spokesperson Anne of Clive. “The proprietress of Franny’s House of Hair, Mrs. Fran Ledbetter, foolishly borrowed $1,000 from Wellington Leg Bank to purchase ‘beauty supplies.’ Instead, Fran used the money to hedge her exposure to rising shampoo prices. Her loan was sold to the Big Fat Guys who sought secondary support in London, Frankfurt, and Hong Long. Her loan was then chopped into 45 derivative strips and used to finance an ill-fated drilling rig casino in the Sargasso Sea.”
I needed another chair. Fran’s plea for understanding fell on deaf ears at the Wellington Leg Money Managers conference at the Hotel Faz. “Fran and people like her must understand they have to whip the credit crunch now,” said Big Fat Guy William Poole. “We’re all the victim of her unbridled ambition.”
“It’s a cascading downward spiral,” noted Professor Moriarity who may have killed off Sherlock Holmes although he was acquitted of the charge. “Fran borrowed a thousand dollars. Her bank sold her loan and now the pension funds holding the mezzanine tranche face margin calls. What was she thinking?”
The mezzanine tranche extends from Fran’s four hundred and first dollar of debt to her five hundred sixty third. With escalator clauses and automatic buyback provisions Fran will owe $349,567 when the loan resets next week.
Financier Paulie Socks notes that “the vig on that loan is wicked.” Paulie may bail out the Big Fat Guys with an off the balance sheet maneuver called the knuckle sandwich. Stanley Morgan reporting for Wellington Leg Financial Media.