Theme Park Too Small
Wellington Leg: City officials admitted yesterday that the miniaturized theme park planned for the Historic Rotunda must be redesigned. Planners reached the conclusion after one of the Big Fat Guys entered the park effectively filling the available space with his crush hat, fanny pack, and 64 ounce Big Gulp. “He’s struck,” noted Professor Moriarity. “He also failed the height requirement for the Whip.”
Wellington Leg had hoped that Abalone World would draw much needed tourist dollars without creating a large carbon footprint that Michael Moore could make a movie about. The theme park now is three feet wide and seven feet tall; Hizzoner, who conceived Abalone World while in the shower, is seven feet wide and three feet tall.
Officials from Disney Corporation fled towne after their convoy of rental cars was attacked by skirmishers from the Vicesima Claudia legion. The forty third earl rode to their rescue after his hammock was grazed by an errant javelin, but the damage was done.
Still hope remains. Intel is working on a theme park on a chip more powerful than current technology. Others worry that the abalone theme signals a kind of reversal of fortune for Wellington Leg and its flagging efforts to generate revenue.
A self propelled crane is on its way from Carthago Nova. The crane is fueled entirely by discarded plot ideas and query letters and is regarded as an alternative to solar power. Once the crane is in place the Big Fat Guy will be hoisted on a long petard. The Big Gulp will drain into Lake Trasimene. Geraldo reporting for Fox Fiction.
November 16th, 2007 at 11:17 am
Petards are hard to come by these days!