Wellington Leg: The release of the Earl’s Own EBook Thingy created a pre-holiday stir among retailers desperate to attract customers. The Thingy is believed to be a revolutionary design since several people found it revolting: two admitted they were Bolshevik spies sent by rival ebook makers Boris and Natasha. One man, Mr. Pimm of Minutae Lane, Little Wallop, claimed he had fewer cavities after reading MADAME BOVARY on the small screen.
“The forty third earl has designed a portable reader with a sixty inch diagonal screen, extra pod doors, toggle switches and a Jane Austen silhouette. The Thingy can be safely operated while driving as the special audio attachment simulates the voice of Pamela Anderson or John Updike, depending on preference.”
It was not easy cramming VOLTAIRE’S MIASMA into the reader’s memory bank. “Six men working around the clock used crow bars to jam a mountain of prose into the Thingy,” noted Professor Moriarity. At first it was feared the Earl’s novel had been loaded backwards and city crews repaired a break in the space-time continuum. “We had Voltaire at a Patty Smith concert in Central Park,” said one worker. “It was a free concert,” he added.
At the core of the device is a nano chip driven by a Harley Davidson Knucklehead belt drive. Eventually the drive will give way to a Porsche flat six, according to the professor. “That will be speed reading,” he said.