Oprah, Obama Arrive in the Leg
Wellington Leg: For the second time in a month Wellington Leg is preparing for a celebrity author to arrive at or near rush hour. Not long after William Jefferson Clinton graced our shores, Barack Obama is here tonight. Accompanying Obama is Oprah Winfrey quite possibly the most famous woman in the world.
“Not since the Syrations of Rue departed Gelsinor,” said local fantasy writer Greg Nickels when ask to quantify his excitement. The Syrations of Rue were of course extraterrestrials who are thought to have designed many of Wellington Leg’s bizarre parking lots. Gelsinor may or may not be Earth depending on your perspective.
Eddie Parker of Eddie’s Book Nook has laid on twenty former NFL players to avoid a repeat of Black Friday. They subdued a Mrs. Whittier of suburban Gelsenkirchen after she leg whipped the quarterback even though the whistle had blown. “Not in my store,” Eddie said.
Officials at the Piggy Bank are suspending panic for the afternoon while the Piltdown Exchange will reopen at one minute after midnight for live hog trading. Alternate side of the street parking regulations are suspended but only for The Hours defined by Michael Cunningham.
DCI Borchardt and the Flying Squad are on alert until the celebrity visitors leave Burnham Wood and cometh to Dunsinane. Arthur Murray reporting.