David Thayer

Wellington Leg: The towne’s fire brigade responded to a flaming yule log at the studios of WLTV not far from the historic rotunda. A welder assigned to reassembling Hizzoner may have sparked the blaze when he leapt through a chimney while attempting to demonstrate a possible exit strategy for Jolly Saint Nick. You may recall that two seasons ago the forty third earl spent the entire month of January stuck in his chimney before his super weight loss regimen kicked in.

With writers on strike WLTV has rolled out a series of reality programs this holiday season. The Yule Log program depicts an actual log lying in a hearth; sometimes a downdraft will stir the ashes ala Kirk Russell in the fireman movie.

With the earl reprising his Santa Claus role WLTV plans to film his arrival from the North Side shortly before midnight. Viewers are reminded that there is a slight chance the infuriated prehistoric monster Godzilla will arrive with Santa. A word to the wise.

Eddie’s Book Nook is closed tomorrow but will reopen at some point in the very near future, sources say. If anyone knows who defaced the cardboard likeness of Dame Pamela Anderson please contact the Flying Squad at Police Headquarters. Remember calls to the switchboard may be monitored because we’re very bored and some of your calls are very silly. It’s not like we plan to listen in, but we’re not really sure what difference it makes whether Dame Pamela is wearing a Santa hat, given Prehistoric G’s imminent arrival.

This public service message will self-destruct if enough of you would like it to. YFS, DCI Borchardt, Wellington Leg Flying Squad.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 24th, 2007 at 10:48 pm and is filed under Gripping Melodrama. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.