David Thayer

Wellington Leg: As Obama ascends and Mitt declines, Wellington Leg goes its own way, blown about by Freshening Breezes and the vagaries of feudalistic mismanagement.  This cliffhanger edition of One More Bite of the Apple seeks to rise above the sturm und drang to answer Infrequently Asked Questions, the annual rite of passage that explains why references to cosmetic surgery are rare in crime fiction.

Doctor Sky Randolph has opened his literary salon and cosmetic surgery practice on Great Rampling Strasse in Wellington Leg’s greasy grimy tenderloin. Dr. Randolph earned an honorary degree as a Doctor of Pith. He knows his way around arcane tax rulings and his potboiler PHILLIPA AT THE RAILING is a heart stopper about first communion.

OMBOTA: Your advertisement in the Druidical & Literary mentions fleeing Latvia. Were you practicing in Latvia?

Doctor Sky Randolph: There are only so many people there and they were all my patients. Eventually they all looked alike. The men resemble Mitt Romney.

OMBOTA: Will we, the residents of Wellington Leg, look like Mitt?

Doctor Sky Randolph: In due time. For the ladies I have three looks in my mind inspired by the noir films of the 40s, the femme fatale, the girl next door, and the girl next door to the femme fatale.

OMBOTA: So, Mitt will meet the girl next door?

Doctor Sky Randolph: He won’t notice her right away. Obama will though  and maybe Mike Huckabee.

OMBOTA: How about Rudy?

Doctor Sky Randolph: Well, a lot of angry Latvians resemble Rudy and I don’t want to repeat that mistake.

OMBOTA: Good luck Doc.

Doctor Sky Randolph: Don’t forget to purchase PHILLIPA AT THE RAILING on your way out.

I live next door to the girl next door and she lives next door to me. I think the femme fatale fell behind on her rent payments and some dirty rat kicked her to the curb. The guy looked a lot like Fred Thompson only Latvian somehow….okay, that’s a suspense pocket.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 4th, 2008 at 11:01 am and is filed under Crime Fiction. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.