Lining up the Edgar Nominess
Wellington Leg: No sooner had the news come across The Wire, the book reviewing staff at the Druidical & Literary raced down The Mall toward Eddie’s Book Nook where the eponymous Eddie was discovered to be “on line” examining the Mystery Writers of America website with uncommon focus. The fuss revolves around the Edgar nominees. Eddie’s vast mainframe is perhaps a vestige of an earlier era as it fills several rooms with winking diodes and requires acolytes of technology on hand in the event of a breakdown. Equipped with the Earl’s Own Cable & Wireless Deluxe Package the vast machine also provides power to neighboring shops and the battery powered guillotine on Great Rampling Strasse.
Wellington Leg’s favorite on the paperback original list is Kevin Wignall for WHO IS CONRAD HIRST? Kevin will be invited to the Leg as soon as the Dowager Princess recoups her losses on the NFL playoffs and resumes her iron fisted reign by fiat and decree.
John Hart’s DOWN RIVER is the choice by proclamation from the Tower according to police sources. DCI Borchardt, himself an auteur, and avid reader nominated Hart in the Best Novel category. “The Flying Squad sits ready to provide security arrangements should Mr. Hart appear at Eddie’s Book Nook,” Borchardt said. There will be no repeat of the chaos surrounding William Jefferson Clinton’s recent appearance Borchardt added.
Apparently the Earl’s latest travesty RIMBAUD was excluded from consideration probably due to inclement weather preventing the book’s timely launch. RIMBAUD runs to thousands of pages and when serialized by the Wellington Leg Intelligencer caused a precipitous drop in circulation.
Smoke emanating from Eddie’s mainframe signaled the election of several write in candidates although many feel the process is corrupted by vanity publisher Yur Soveign. A committee will be formed to investigate vowed Prudentia Chalfont-Smythe, heiress to the Smythe Oven fortune and doer of deeds: her own novel of crime and punishment was destroyed in a shredding accident several weeks ago. “We have bits and pieces,” she said. “We await the arrival of an adequate supply of Crazy Glue.”
Literary Editor Rex Love-Handles reporting.