Leaning Tower Straightens Up
Wellington Leg: The Leaning Tower of Henley Hornbrook, long a tourist draw, is not leaning anymore. A mysterious visitor exposed the tower fraud in a letter to the Druidical & Literary this past weekend. “Your so-called leaning tower stands perfectly straight and true,” he wrote. “I will never return to Wellington Leg. Also, I went to COSTCO and saw no sign of the fifty thousand Roman soldiers you claim are beseiging your Towne. Finally, whilst browsing Eddie’s Book Nook I was assailed by a gloomy publicist and forced to wear Fred Flintstone sunglasses.”
The scandal has forced the Flying Squad to investigate both the leaning tower ( it looks crooked to me) as well as the insinuation that customers at Eddie’s Book Nook shed their 3D glasses for the Flintstone variety.
DCI Borchardt released a statement: “The Leaning Tower is being examined by a team of tower experts who, as of this writing, remain locked in a furious battle with elements of the Decima Claudia Legion who struck from ambush at the height of the morning rush.”
Borchardt spoke off the record to this reporter: Mrs. Granville Houston of Henley Hornbrook is in custody after admitting she’d spent the weekend “straightening up” around towne. Mrs. Houston has a record; she removed the fake mustache from the statue of the Earl on Horseback last year, confirming the suspicion that the earl does not wear a mustache nor, in fact, does he ride a horse.
A Googlebot checked out of the Hotel Faz Monday morning leaving behind a drawing of the Leaning Tower and a sketch of Fred Flintstone. “We have our suspicions,” Borchardt said removing his sunglasses to reveal another pair underneath.
Rex Love-Handles reporting for Page Seven.