Lockout Ends in Wellington Leg
Great Wellington Bog: Writers at the Druidical & Literary are back at work today after a week long lockout halted prose production at the D&L’s grimy headquarters near Enshrouded Bottom on the shores of Gastropod Alley. Legians deprived of content during the dispute are free to march on City Hall, to display signs depicting their displeasure, and chant slogans. “There will be hefty fines if alternate side of the street parking regulations are violated,” warned DCI Borchardt in his first memo since the lockout began.
What went wrong? Upper management has completed a rigourous even glamourous internal investigation during which several executives studied the on-off switch adapted from a Mister Coffee for use as an Internet Tool. When toggled to “on” content poured forth from the staff; when switched to “off” Wellington Leg was plunged into Darkness.
The Blame Game: while the investigation left no stone unturned, no piano untuned, no Visigoth unquestioned, human error is suspected as the prime mover of the debacle. Indeed, the third floor Mister Coffee is believed to be a modified cloaking device whose use is both dangerous and unpredictable. Thus, a Mr. Coffee is in fact a Mr. Cloaking Device mislabeled at some time by persons unknown.
Judge Hamilcar Frist, the Dancing Judge, has ordered the summary execution of the executive summary be expedited and forwarded to the Flying Squad for immediate effect. All of the towne’s Mr. Cloaking Devices are to be rounded up and thrown into Great Wellington Bog.
“Wellington Leg deserves Internet access,” a towne official said. Coffee futures rallied on the news while the price of Live Hogs at auction stabilized. The lack of visibility at the Piltdown Exchange was blamed on a member of the janitorial staff who turned a Mister Stock Ticker off during lunch. T.Rex Love-Handles reporting.