Literary Faire to Have Money Theme
Wellington Leg: This year’s Literary Faire will seek submissions for theme based works on the subject of money according to Prudentia Chalfont-Smythe, Chaire of the Faire. Chalfont-Smythe took note of Wellington Leg’s dreadful finances during her semi-annual tuneup at Bo W’s chic literary salon and tire recapping Institute. “I think the mismanagement of Towne finances is a scandal,” she said. “Equally appalling is the realization that we owe vast sums of money to an eight year old hedge fund manager.”
Red Faced Officials: Chalfont-Smythe’s remarks were a reference to local girl, Eugenia Phaeton, a third grader at Wellington Elementary. Eugenia’s show and tell project, My Hedge Fund, controls a significant portion of both The Piggy Bank and Hizzoner’s Own Slush Fund. Her yen dollar carry trade position was unwound just as the credit crunch reduced the value of the Towne’s Collateralized Gummi Bear Instruments ( CGBI). “In truth Eugenia cornered the gummi bear market forcing towne officials to pay exorbitant sums to reclaim a mere fraction of perceived value.”
Faire to be Scaled Back? Last year’s ten month long extravaganza cost the Bailiwick of Leg ” a small fortune.” There was ill will after Chalfont-Smythe swept all eight of the literary prizes, unprecedented in the long history of the Faire. An impeachment movement stalled after Chalfont-Smythe hired T. Rex Love-Handles to “go about the precincts of Towne in a bellicose manner,” according to her press release.
Her power base secured, Prudentia has flown to northern California to discuss the San Jose Sharks with an audience of hockey fans. According to private investigator Arthur Murray, Prudentia flew coach. “She’s a fiscal tiger,” Arthur said. Natasha, Queen of the Universe, reporting.