Squid Snags Seat on Council
Wellington Leg: Ray Legler is the Towne Council’s newest member after the results of a special election were announced late Sunday. Despite issues with Ray’s residency and his alien life form appearance he handily defeated 54 other candidates for the job. “Ray looks like a giant squid,” said towne official Ludmilla Mudhen. “So do a lot of people,” she added.
His Human Form: To “look human” Mr. Legler relies on the rabbit ears supplied him when he left the mother planet bound for Wellington Leg. By adjusting the ears Legler can draw on role models like Harry Truman, The Big Bopper, and members of the Oakland As brain trust. “We can sustain life on earth for pennies a day!” An alien life form brochure exclaims. His initial tasks included the formation of a vanity publisher, RABBIT EARS PRESS. “We received a lot of books by rabbits, books about rabbits, books nibbled by rabbits. They needed a lot of work.”
Helping Rabbits Get Into Print: Ray recognizes now that helping rabbits get into print is not why he was sent here. “I think that phase is behind us,” he says. To that end he no longer encourages fledgling authors to eat a lot of carrots. “I don’t think it matters what you eat,” he said.
Ludmilla Mudhen is a graduate of the Rabbit Writing Course but harbors no bitterness toward Legler nor does she mind her minor obsession with baseball stats: “I lost thirty five pounds on the famous writer course,” she says. “And, I sound like Harry Truman.”
Mr. Legler will attend his first council meeting on Wednesday. The hot potato issue of tubers wearing haute couture continues to confound Wellington Leg. Mr. Potato Head Goes to Paris is the featured film for the evening. T. Rex Love-Handles reporting.