Rummie at Eddie?
Wellington Leg: Independent publisher Wellington Tuna is courting Donald Rumsfeld sources close to the bay report. While the publisher is loathe to depart from tuna based works, books about tuna, loving tuna, or the political thriller series Ike and Tuna , the opportunity, however remote, to sign Rummie is a challenge local mogul Marty O. Coin cannot resist. “I want to sign this guy,” Marty said. “I just don’t want to pay him.”
Skeptics note that since Marty gained control of the Fighting Gastropod Metropolitan Baseball Club, he’s traded the Duchess to Baltimore, dumped the forty third earl from the active roster, and closed the famous reading bleachers where fans could quote Balzac while paying eleven dollars for a beer. Marty also employs Certified Literary Critics as bellhops at the Hotel Faz, a disreputable place for commercial travelers.
Still having Donald Rumsfeld in Wellington Leg would dispel the lingering notion that the towne is a literary backwater. Until now the greatest living author to visit is a cardboard likeness of Carmen Elektra. Having Rummie at Eddie’s Book Nook would change all that.
A “Sign Don” campaign has been launched in nearby Goth by famed publicist Lars Kierkegaard. “We are pulling out some of the stops,” Lars said. “Don is eligible for the free loaners for life program,” he added. A 1987 Volvo 240d wagon is at his disposal.
Don will be feted at the Spring Training Opener when the Gastropods take on the New York Yankees in Tampa. The earl will come out of forced retirement to pitch from behind second base.
Mandy Rice-Davies reporting.
February 28th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Hope they are all eating their abalone entrails.
February 28th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Always on the menu.