Crime Fiction Muddle for Eddie
Wellington Leg: After a whirlwind visit from shelving consultant Sarbanes Ochsley Eddie Parker of Eddie’s Book Nook has hired sports editor Mandy Rice-Davies to restore order. “I think Sarbanes meant well,” Eddie said. “But a whole section of ‘boring books’ seems self-defeating to me.”
Mandy agrees. “I’m putting the new Wambaugh under the letter I which stands for “I like it.” She has the latest release by Daniel Judson under I for “I haven’t read it yet,” and Danielle Steele under I for “I didn’t like it.”
The Is have it: Eddie’s Book Nook now has a Bulge near the midsection of the alphabet: “Mandy has everything under “I” so I’m moving the espresso machine and the fax machine, which is really one machine, over toward the Clintonia section of the store.”
Sending Coffee Over the Airwaves: the espresso fax machine was invented in 1897 by the Ninth Earl of Watership Down. The device fell out of favor until 1964 when someone reading LET US NOW PRAISE FAMOUS MEN fell sideways at a sidewalk cafe in Wellington Leg’s arty warehouse district. “An arc of coffee, much like a rainbow, flew southwest without delay or distraction into the offices of Herself, a Magistrate.”
Eddie faxes coffee along with his New Release tearsheets to subscribers in 44 countries. He recently jolted the Chinese Politburo with a Sumatra blend and the latest Richard North Patterson.
Not everyone appreciates faxed coffee. Boris Norris is a traditionalist. He faxes chocolate bars from his office on Rittenhouse Square. “I sent a Snickers to John McCain. He sent it back Fedex. It was forty three feet long,” he said.
Concetta Comedia del’Arta reporting.