Wellington Leg Too Busy
Mile marker 83: Business, sports, and book writing are suspended in Wellington Leg after a team of experts determined the Towne is too busy. The ban on these activities is expected to last until August calling into question the traditional start of the Literary Faire. Swimming and bicycle riding are also proscribed in a ten page memo called “Too Busy.”
Drawn and quartered from all walks of life the panel of experts spent eleven weeks in Wellington Leg although ten of those weeks were devoted to Chinese takeout menu analysis ( CTMA). Residents grumble that the experts never formally met to discuss their findings due to scheduling conflicts. One expert, a Mr. Mango, spent his days assembling a thirty foot apple fritter that he hoped might distract the naval forces arrayed in Gastropod Alley.
Petition to the Earl: Entitled, “We’re Not that Busy” the petition was delivered to his garconniere on Pouncing Adverbs Close. Unfortunately the earl had retired to his hammock after an exhausting breakfast meeting with his advisers.
However, the Duchess, resplendent in retro flannel and an Orioles cap, noted that “she was too busy to read the busy memo, but not too busy to refer the matter to her own panel of experts puttering about in a jalopy of her own design.”
Roman forces stationed in and around Costco in Goth are exempt from the activity ban. Four legions have departed winter quarters in preparation for an invasion of western Pennsylvania. The troops have mastered the English phrase “can you dig it?” in an effort to placate restive populations.
The sacking and burning of condo complexes is also banned, experts note.
Natasha, the Consort Royal, reporting.