Borzoi Claims Authorship
Ext. Night Wellington Leg: Voiceover: Two men approach the heavily guarded Museum where the impressionist masterpiece FAT GUYS WITH WINGS is being restored by the beautiful and mysterious Borzoi loving Hermione. Unaware of the danger outside Hermione unlocks all the doors and sends the security guards to Dunkin’ Donuts.
Ext. Night Dunkin Donuts Parking Lot: Unaware of the danger outside the guards debate their favorite breed of dog. They both like Akitas so the debate is brief.
Int. Night. Hall of Justice: the only person on duty is the Forty Third Earl. He’s typing reports but his full suit of armor makes the going tough. Hungry, and unaware of the danger outside, he clanks off in the direction of Dunkin’ Donuts.
Int. Night Hall of Justice: A sleek dog, a Borzoi, makes a few corrections to the earl’s report. He’s not sure how to spell Zombie. Maybe it’s Zomby or Tshombi. He changes the word to Czarina.
Int. Night. Museum. Hermione hears noises. A fanfare of trumpets. She turns to face a pair of armed Czarinas. she vows to defend FAT GUYS WITH WINGS with her life.
Ext. Night Patrol Car: The earl hears the distress call on his radio. He can throw his coffee away or finish it since it cost eighty nine cents. He remembers a Starbucks not far from the museum. Are they still open?
Int. Night Museum: Hermione is saved by a courageous dog, a Borzoi named Gogol. The czarinas flee as the security guards return from Dunkin Donuts. “We used to like Akitas,” one says to the camera. “Now we like Borzois.”
Ext. Night Starbucks: The drive through is closed. The Earl dons his helmet but now can’t see to drive. Gogol bounds across the parking lot, takes the wheel, leaves a lot of rubber…
Int. Day. Hall of Justice: Gogol is Dog of the Year. FAT GUYS WITH WINGS opens nationwide tour.
Thirty. Fade Out.