Henderson’s Brain Arrested
Wellington Leg: Last week’s daring heist of the portrait EARL WITH A PEARL EARRING may have been engineered by the brain discovered in the lost and found at Hizzoner’s Reassembly Ball. While local dignitaries celebrated The Restoration thieves made off with the masterpiece that dates to the earl’s Butterscotch Period. The nine by twelve oil painting depicts his right honorable self gazing at a hubcap believed to be the last vestige of his 1927 Hispano Suiza saloon car.
Sometimes called EARL THE PEARL the painting formed part of the dower bestowed upon King Pin the Second. Large sections of Michigan completed his lands and holdings before the Dowager Princess rebelled overthrowing the monarchy and sending counter party debt instruments into chaos.
We Arrest Only the Brain: Freelance writer Henderson Pugh is without his brain…again. Fortunately Mr. Pugh is completing assignments for People Magazine as well as transcribing the minutes of the Fed’s Open Market Committee. “He won’t need his brain for those jobs,” noted Dan Tana. “In fact he’s really in demand.”
The Earl in Shock: Reached in the far left hand corner of the Fighting Gastropods dugout the earl leaned on a Manny Ramirez hickory bat and refused to answer this reporter’s questions about the heist. “We really can’t have people’s brains running around loose…stealing art and stuff,” said Interim Manager Lars Kierkegaard.
Jello Mold Believed Eaten: If anyone has more Jello mold or has plans to make some, please contact the Flying Squad care of this blog.
T.Rex Love-Handles for the Wellington Leg Police Blotter.