Wellington Leg: News that the forty third earl will be podcasting from the belly of a blue whale is raising eyebrows this morning. Less than a week ago the author of VOLTAIRE’S MIASMA was reported swallowed by a Sharpie wielding “monster of the deep.” Reports are circulating that the earl was seen visiting Lenin’s Tomb, shopping in Prague, driving a cab on the Grand Central Parkway. Page Seven believes he attended the Cannes Film Festival disguised as a drama critic.
Whale Podcasting: while in its infancy whale podcasting is not much different than other whale related activities. “In order to cast the pod from a moving object one simply takes into account the forward velocity of the creature, the curve of the earth, and prevailing winds,” noted Professor Moriarity, the man often accused of killing Sherlock Holmes. “The spoken word is etched onto a disk or pod then ejected through the whale’s blow hole.”
This reporter had the presence of mind to interview Lars Kierkegaard Publicist of Doom at his Ballard atelier. Lars was contemplating rotor wear on the rear brakes of a Volvo 240 d sedan when I popped the question: “Was the earl swallowed by a whale and, if so, was it a mechanical whale?”
The two part question seemed to stump the man often called the publicist’s publicist. He showed me a dorsal fin fashioned from composite materials to be incorporated on modern jetliners. Lars then demonstrated by launching mechanical salmon from the Fish Ladder: “Ja, it’s conceivable to build a whale in your garage,” he admitted. “The question is why? That’s always the question.”
Unfortunately the mechanical salmon were eaten by a mechanical sea lion. “Nature is merciless,” Lars observed.
T. Rex Love-Handles reporting.
Tags: Cannes, Literary Hoax, podcasting