Wellington Leg: Long lines at the voting booths are no obstacle to the dedicated voters of Wellington Leg, Goth, and Henley Hornbrook. Early voting is available at Eddie’s Book Nook on Cornucopia of Corruption Avenue; simply stick your head in and yell the name of your candidate. You may be asked to name your favorite crime fiction authors and you will be asked to name the capital city of Michigan. After that you can go ahead and vote unless the Roman sentries challenge you. Since they view McCain as a surrogate for Marcus Aurelius feel free to fib a little if you’re voting Obama.
Earl’s Rockin Election Eve: In the hopes of raising money for himself the forty third earl is throwing up the doors of his pied a terre on Monday Night just in time, we hope, to call the end of the ferocious contest in Penn’s Sylvania. As many of you know whoever wins there can make it anywhere; just ask the Phils. Once Pennsylvania has voted it will be off to California where voters will already know the outcome and may forget that a ballot measure, if passed, would make Wonder Bread available in every restaurant in the state. if chewed correctly Wonder Bread becomes a fabulous low cost alternative to both food and industrial adhesives.
Earl Leads Early Poll: His race for Imperial Ombudsman is too close to call, however, his opponent, a Google bot named “Claude” has made numerous gaffes about humans and their ilk. Still “Claude” leads in some polls because of the earl’s vigorous rispostes from horseback. An unpopular ban on jousting hangs in the balance by the slenderest of threads. The jousting ban would prohibit “plummeting” a blow to Joe the Plummeter who may or may not run for Imperial Court Jester should the unthinkable occur.
T. Rex Love-Handles reporting.