Wellington Leg: In response to our own recount woes the Dowager Princess is recommending that all the guys running for senate in Minnesota be given seats in that august chamber. The Princess offered her solution to the recount mess during a routine Q&A about betting on the Vikings. “The Senate could use the extra guys anyway,” she said. “All this counting and recounting is giving me a headache.”
Imperial Ombudsman race decided: The Forty Third Earl of Watership Down has defeated “Claude” by a final tally of three to two. The initial result had “Claude” in the lead by three to two but that was prior to the revelation that “Claude” is a Google bot. After several recounts and do overs, the earl voted for himself after initially voting for Al Franken as a write in candidate. “Claude” reversed field as well voting for the earl after swallowing an electronic ballot “by accident.” “Claude” dismayed some voters by drinking lighter fluid and failing to name the Colts starting quarterback.
Pirate Update: Now that he is officially the victor the forty third earl is expected to sally forth against pirate ships in Gastropod Alley. As reported in the Tuffington Post earlier this week, the earl has donned his waders and is brandishing his sword at the interlopers. Apparently cowed by the show of force the pirates have withdrawn from the Inner Harbor where a large shipment of italics are awaiting export. Wellington Leg is the largest producer of italics in North America.
His Raiment and Regalia: The symbol of his office, a woolly hat, is scheduled to arrive this afternoon. Once his hat in is place the Imperial Obudsman will wade further offshore in the general direction of the miscreants.
T. Rex Love-Handles reporting.