Wellington Leg: Mrs. Hannah Fragrue of Punting Only When Necessary reported a potato shaped object lingering in the eastern sky late Friday. After calling Wellington Observatory she hurried outdoors in time to see the object strike the ground, not far from her late model Geo. “It hovered, then changed direction before zooming over my house,” she said. Before landing the UFPO flew in a tight orbit over the Leg’s Historic Rotunda. The toney suburb of Punting is several miles from the Rotunda yet the potato covered the distance in a matter of seconds.
Flying Squad Investigates: Though reluctant to leave headquarters on such a chilly night, DCI Borchardt and the Flying Squad arrived in time to see Mrs. Hagrue “apparently in conversation with the potato; we approached with caution as the subject emitted a green laser like glow, visible for several blocks.”
Earl Summoned: Though napping after a vigorous Jerry Springer like workout, the forty third earl rushed to the scene in his latest Wellbryd, a hybrid ox cart with flames on the side paneling. Capable of speeds in excess of five miles per hour the Wellbryd features rocket launchers and a state of the art stereo system. As he approached the interstellar potato began to vibrate and a metallic voice was heard to ask,” Are you accepting unsolicited queries?”
Deep Space: Where News Travels Fast: The earl, displaying his usual presence of mind, revealed that the space potato may have been launched from his own roof. “I’m querying again.” he explained. “I am exploring various query delivery systems and the potato may have drifted off course.”
False Alarm? DCI Borchardt, a literary rival of the earl’s, was extremely displeased. “I fail to see the literary value of launching a query via the Potato Method. Clearly this attempt to jump the queue failed miserably. We are returning to headquarters more than a little miffed by a flagrant false alarm.”
The report of a “potato shower” near Goth only added to Borchardt’s frustration. “I am not going to investigate. Period,” he said.
T. Rex Love-Handles reporting.