Wellington Leg: “Welly” a four and a half ton lizard running loose upon the land may not be an actual dinosaur. The Wellosaurus, believed to be relative of the Allosaurus, recently stepped on the roof of a taxicab near the Wellington Aerodrome. Cab driver Busby “Buzz” Busby had parked his cab near the Donut Kiosk; he was striding toward the dozen glazed donuts he had preordered on the Internet when he heard the sound of metal being crushed.
At first he thought nothing of it. Buzz is a veteran driver whose hack license can be traced back to the Hapsburg or Hohenzollern Ascendancy. When he heard the primordial trumpeting of a Jurassic Period Beast he knew that the monster had stomped his cab flat.
Dinosaurs Are Territorial: The Wellosaurus may have mistaken Busby Busby for a smaller grazing dinosaur that feeds off plants and jelly donuts. DCI Borchardt and the Flying Squad are performing forensic tests on the cab’s pancaked frame and have interviewed not only Busby Busby but eye-witness Bisby Busby no relation to Busby Busby. “Bisby claims that he saw a Wellosaurus shopping for toothpaste last Thursday at the Prince of Denmark Shopping Centre. We’re reviewing security video,” Borchardt said.
Good for the Economy? Most townes are feeling the pinch of declining economic activity so having an actual dinosaur running loose may be a boon. The Privy Council has ordered the Flying Squad to establish once and for all if the Wellosaurus is real; they hope to attract the attention of national media outlets but only if the mighty creature is genuine. “No one wants another fake dinosaur story,” notes Borchardt.
Both Busby and Bisby Busby, no relation, have canceled plans to flee in panic. Busby has tickets to the Gastropods game tonight. “They’re playing the Federal Reserve,” Busby said. “Let’s hope that the Wellosaurus is not a baseball fan,” he said.
T. Rex Love-Handles reporting.