Hall of the Mountain Kings: The trial of Ms. Amanda Bond of Little Wallop began this afternoon in an atmosphere one court observer described as “Minoan.” He may have been referring to the presence of members of the Lost Continent of Atlantis who are attending a convention in Wellington Leg this week. Ms. Bond, accused of failing to look like Rush on Limbaugh Sunday, entered a plea of You Cannot Be Serious. She is representing herself.
The presiding magistrate, Judge Hamilcar Frist, loves to make a dramatic entrance and today was no exception. He arrived on a unicycle juggling bowling pins; inscribed on the pins were the words “guilty” and “not-guilty.” Judge Frist performed a near perfect dismount although he failed to execute a seven ten split before landing in his chair.
As the clerk read the charges against Ms. Bond, the Crown’s Counsel made faces at the assembled journos and was especially rude to our own Tuffy Tuffington, ace reporter and author of Tuffpo. Courtroom fixture Madame Lafarge led the Greek chorus in cries of “she’s guilty” as Ms. Bond entered the courtroom.
The judge, who loves kittens and strolls in the moonlight, was quick to ask the defendant her opinion of kittens.
Ms. Bond appeared flustered, offering only the rhetorical, “kittens?” This created a stampede of reporters rushing toward pay phones that were removed from the lobby in 1987.
“Let’s hope for her sake, Day Two goes better than Day One,” wrote Tuffy. There seems a high likelihood tomorrow’s questioning will focus on walks in the moonlight. Ms. Bond has already stated she sprained her ankle during a moonlight stroll several months ago; the Crown will call witnesses who may have seen her limping.
Tags: Looking Like Rush