Wellington Leg: Following the arrest of several of New Jersey’s mayors experts are suggesting that many cities in the Garden State adopt open source governance. Under this method of leadership bribes can reach more people more quickly creating more economic stimulus by increasing the velocity of laundered money.
According to the Tuffington Post laundered money often moves more slowly than unlaundered money in part because the great unwashed have sticky fingers. “A single laundered dollar will often drift around in the trunk of someone’s car for weeks on end,” noted Atlantic City resident Eddie. At one point the money supply, the M!, dropped to zero in Hoboken as all the cash went to the sidelines. “This is incredibly inefficient,” Eddie says.
Tuffpo Contributor Little Mahmoud can relate: after naming a Jersey City resident as First Vice President, LM was shocked to discover his choice was overruled. “Recycling politicians is even messier than laundering money,” noted Mahmoud. Caught in the spin cycle he had no choice but move on.
Jersey Beaches are Open: the sudden shortage of mayors and public officials won’t effect the shore. Bundles of cash may be visible at high tide and schools of jellyfish, sometimes used to launder money, have floated north toward Long Island. The sighting off a shark off Cape May turned out to be a loan shark. “The water’s fine,” said a local mayor who has yet to be taken into custody. Loan sharks are not considered a threat to swimmers.
Tuffy Tuffington reporting.