David Thayer

The Seattle Post Intelligencer ran an AP interview with Jess Walter this past weekend. Walter’s “Citizen Vince” grabbed the EDGAR despite the fact that the novel is not a classic mystery. I’ve enjoyed all of his novels. Jess Walter is published by ReganBooks, who may or may not be in Los Angeles at this writing. Walter’s earlier titles include “Over Tumbled Graves” and “Land of the Blind” both of which are very good. “Citizen Vince” is being released in paperback.

Jeff Povey’s “The Serial Killers Club” landed on my doorstep the other day. I noticed the blurb from Eric Garcia on the jacket cover, and in the dedication Jeff Povey mentions his agent, Barbara Zitwer, who I think, repesents Garcia. I wasn’t crazy about “Darkly Dreaming Dexter” and didn’t care for the opening pages of “The Serial Killers Club.” The same goes for the dinosaur detective in Garcia’s novels. This is weird because I am a demographic bullseye for this kind of material, but instead of reveling and rejoicing, I’m fidgeting and fussing.

Critical Mass has a post by John Freeman about lit bloggers earning money from ads. Freeman points out that reviewers for print media aren’t exposed to the conflict of interest that receiving a quarter from Amazon creates for bloggers such as Max McGee and Scott Esposito. Scott and Max have several comments on the subject. I don’t think most bloggers would be influenced to speak highly of a book for a quarter or even fifty cents ( not 50 cent.) if publishers raised the bar, say to seventy five cents, my integrity would be totally compromised, and on a sliding scale of corruption, if offered a dollar I’d be forced to sing the praises of Martha’s latest, or gush for Macauley Calkin. That’s why this blog has no advertisements. Okay, that’s not why. I haven’t figured out how to put live links in my posts, let alone how to dock with corporate motherships in cyberspace. You know, I’ve begged Rupert Murdoch to buy this blog for ten million dollars. CBS? Morgan Stanley? Brother, can you spare a dime?

Yesterday’s event at the Seattle Mystery Bookshop featured two terrific authors, a great bookstore, lots of customers and a torrential cloudburst that was universally regarded by staff, bloggers, and customers as un-Seattle like in its intensity. The only person carrying an umbrella was a meter maid who admired this reporter’s near classic Volvo cleverly parked under the water feature called the Alaska Way Viaduct. For book fans the event illustrated how well the business can work. Both Lee and Cornelia signed stacks of books and the line went deep into the store. There were plenty of reserves, pre-ordered and ready, for a lunch time crowd of damp but enthusiastic readers.

It was fun and pleasing to see customers clutching their books. People hold books differently than other objects or so it seems to me, crooked in their arms in a protective sort of way. In this part of town there are five bookstores within a ten block radius along First Avenue anchored by Elliot Bay Bookstore to the south. There are a dozen taverns, several tattoo parlors, and a Starbucks along that stretch of Pioneer Square, so once you’ve got something to read, you can take the Underground Seattle Tour or go ahead and get that John Updike ink on your forearm.

Cornelia Read and Cara Black are appearing tonight at M is for Mystery in San Mateo. My apologies for creating a kind of Ground Hog Day for Cornelia and Cara. Those of you who attended last night will have really good seats, so don’t you go anywhere.

I thought it might be appropriate to add a link to myself. Over on the sidebar is a link to The Untrained Eye which is a blog at Publishers Marketplace written by me. Why two blogs? Well, Publishers Marketplace is for the trade, so to speak. This blog is for those of you who’ve fled to the Seychelles after a bitter divorce, but now you’re having second thoughts and wonder if your hideaway in the Indian Ocean isn’t a tad remote. The nearest gas station is on Diego Garcia, the island, not the shortstop, and reading this blog is your last desperate attempt to stay current with all the literary news from home. Hey, who won the Oscars?

If there is crossover traffic from Costa Rica, and it is possible, then you don’t have to visit the Untrained Eye if you’ve been here first. Those arriving from Publishers Marketplace will find their luggage on Carousel Three, a place as jolly as the name implies…Carousel Three…with a captive audience publishers ought to focus on. Hey I don’t where your bag is, but here’s a book for you.

Just a quick word before the pop tarts spring from the Smythe Oven. Lars is adding links while tuning the author mobile; nakedauthors.com is a joint blog featuring Cornelia Read, Jacqueline Winspear, Patricia Smiley, Paul Levine, and James Grippando. Cornelia’s essay is the lead and reminds me and others here at the D&L that her release date is May 8, 2006.

Jacqueline Winspear’s Pardonable Lies has been nominated for an Agatha. The Maisie Dobbs series has been a smash hit. Patricia Smiley is the author of False Profits and Cover Your Assets. James Grippando’s latest is Got the Look. Paul Levine is the author of Solomon versus Lord; his latest is Deep Blue Alibi. Now they’re together in one place.

Sara Gran is the first famous author to be interviewed by the staff at the Druidical & Literary. A behind the scenes look at the author’s current thoughts will appear tomorrow in what will then be real time but is not yet. Publisher Oliver Castinstone says “this is a real coup for fans and critics alike. Someone’s going to get reserved parking behind this.”

Donald Rumsfeld bobblehead dolls are declining in value, according to Lars Kierkegard, Publicist of Gloom. “You want to short the Rummy,” he wrote in his weekly column Is it Must or Musty? The earl has rushed off to the Piltdown Exchange to unload a trunk full of the Rummies. Good luck with that.

Traffic tips for Southern California: the I-5 will be closed near Tustin southbound until CHP units secure the town. Troops from the Valeria Victrix and the Primagermanica legions raided a Hollywood Video store making off with several copies of Conan the Barbarian. “They specified VHS,” said one astonished clerk. UCLA Professor Barry Berry noted “they have primitive technology. Why VHS? Why Orange County?”

Governor Arnold vowed to crush the Roman invasion before the summer vacation peak driving months. He was embarrassed by incursions at the campus of UC Davis. Roman troops erected a statue of Virgil in a city park on Saturday. The Roman commander gave the commencement address to stunned students. He also reiterated his earlier warning to literary agents: anyone rejecting the earl’s work will be dragged in chains to Rome.

The earl here recording my thoughts in real time. Well, wouldn’t you know it. Just as I have seized control of the dash board the hogs have escaped taking their RSS expertise with them. While I hurry after them Depew will assist with the news portion of the blog. Try not to startle him with those pingbacks; this means you Washington Post.

Bill Crider’s A Mammoth Murder is out April 27th from SMP Minotaur. Bill got a blurb from The Romantic Times demonstrating his global appeal as a writer. Have they read Voltaire’s Miasma? Not according to my publicist Lars Kierkegaard. Lars is a certified Volvo mechanic and publicist a combo that works well on road trips.

Steven Havill’s latest is titled Statute of Limitations. Set in New Mexico it features Estelle Reyes-Guzman as the under-sheriff of Posadas County. She’s a good character and the story is well written. it’s more domestic than say, Ken Bruen, but then so was the Korean War. If the hogs had thumbs…wait, they do have thumbs, and they are up for this one.

High Priestess by David Skibbins will be released April 26. Tarot cards and Berkeley in the Sixties. I think the earl attended Berkeley before California became a state. Uh oh here he comes.

The Earl of Watership Down mowed down fifteen batters in a row in his debut with the Goth Yankees at the ampitheater last night. His bid for a no-hitter ended when Lady Chillingsworth went yard in the top of the Sixth. “He hung a slider,” said sports desk editor Mandi Rice-Davies. “She was all over that pitch.” Lady Chillingsworth showed the earl up with a slow turn of the bases. “Hell, she’s seventy one years old,” said one scout. “Plenty of bat speed though.”

After a high inside heater to the Dutchess of Cornwall both benches were warned. “She was crowding the plate and digging in,” noted author Jose Canseco. “She was looking for trouble.” The earl’s complimentary golf cart was provided by the Horticultural and Literary Society; the first 25 fans received copies of Voltaire’s Miasma at the Costco price. “Kids love the book,” said Ms. Rice-Davies. “A lot of them were sitting on it.” The Yankees crushed the H&L All Stars 15-2. Some of the earl’s minions tried to recover copies of VM from little kids but were kicked in the shins. “We’re having none of that,” remarked DCI Borchardt. “Fair is fair.”

After months of blogging without a license several new links appear on the blogroll with Sara Gran, Elizabeth Crane and Cornelia Read added to the author roster. Tribe, SoManyBooks, Metaxu Cafe, JA Konrath have joined the blogroll.  More updates will be forthcoming as soon as Depew returns from leaning on his rake.

Here is your playbill, a guide to the characters who appear on this blog. If this were a high tech operation organ music would be playing in the background. You would be standing in the lobby of the theater all dressed up. One part melodrama, one part post modernist ode to the great ones, this blog promises the Off-off Broadway feel of raw tension but always in a cheesy sort of way. That’s our pledge to you. The cast.

The Earl. “It takes infinite patience to be me.” His quest for literary greatness sets our story into motion. He was stuck in a chimney for twenty six days, but the Guinness people remain indifferent.

Urquhart Depew. Devilishly handsome, the true heir to the earl’s estate, reduced to embittered dogsbody after an ill-fated poker game. Often seen in the front yard leaning on a rake.

The Dowager Princess. With her claims to the throne of Bavaria tied up in court she blogs the NFL. She goes berserk when she sees Mitch Albom on Sportscenter. Has legal problems in Michigan.

DCI Borchardt. The Earl’s nemesis. Borchardt believes he is the inspiration for Ian Rankin. Under pressure to find the corpse of the Thuringian Dressmaker, Borchardt is Wellington Leg’s senior police official. Has bungled the Roman invasion. Criticized for his low clearance rate he has turned to writing crime novels under the name Waltraut Frothingmunster. Has quite the toga collection.

Prudentia Chalfont-Smythe. Widow of the inventor of the toaster ( the Smythe Oven). President and Managing Director of West Country Garden and Literary Society. Conducting a torrid affair with DCI Borchardt over the Ian Rankin misunderstanding. Works behind the scenes to torpedo the earl’s career.

The staff at the Druidical & Literay Wellington Leg’s daily newspaper. Forced by budget cuts into expense control the staff never leave the building. Forced to use their imaginations they invent stories for submission to Wilfredo Tagesblatt Creative Director. Senior writer Olivia Earthwindandfire is holed up inside Belvedere Castle in priotest of the new owner’s cavalier disregard for journalistic integrity. Reporter Geraldo Riviera was captured by Roman troops after they overran Costco; forced to translate the works of James Patterson he wonders if anyone believes he’s trapped behind enemy lines. Intern Heather DeMedici works without pay. She reviews fiction for the D&L. She believes Geraldo. Publisher Oliver Castinstone now controls a media empire that includes this blog.

Will the Earl ever realize his dream? What will happen when the hogs reach market weight? And what of the vengeful Mrs. Anderson-Cooper, Prosecutrix? Will she behead the Earl? Can Depew be trusted to enclose SASEs? Can Ueberagent Lydia Careerbreaker be persuaded to read his pages?

Tension. Strife. Turmoil. Book reviews. Incisive commentary. Fashion bulletins. This is One More Bite of the Apple. Real time. Presented in ascending order and date stamped for authenticity. And yes, we validate parking.