David Thayer

Your reporter wonders aloud whether Marisha Pessl is pleased about the hype surrounding her debut. On the one hand there are a staggering number of reviews evoking Holden Caulfield, Huck Finn, and oddly enough, from the Boston Globe, a reference to salmon. “Lines jump out like salmon swimming upstream.” The NYTBR called it “a poetic act of will.” Vogue mentioned Jonathan Safran Foer, Dave Eggers, and Zadie Smith in a breathless sweep of the literary landscape.
SPECIAL TOPICS IN CALAMITY PHYSICS is the novel on the most lists this month. Marisha Pessl’s debut was featured in the New York Times list of notable books, triggering a fair amount of sniping.

Laura Miller’s Salon review last August was positive ( during your reporter’s relentless fact-checking, I was able to enter Salon courtesy of the Lincoln Navigator, a really big car, and a number of bouncing basketballs. I’m not certain what the correlation is between driving a Navigator and playing basketball, or if there is a correlation. For all I know there may be an entire list revealing why, after purchasing a Navigator, you may experience the desire to play zone defense.)

Here is a list of keywords from Ms. Miller’s review: Dom Delillo ( uh oh) girls, professors, frippery ( I don’t know what this word means) fascinating, surprising and wedge. Ms. Miller referred to Ms. Pessl as a novelist, the italics lending additional heft and meaning. This may be akin to calling the Lincoln Navigator a basketball player’s dream. At one point in her review Ms. Miller muses that the realm of Big Fat Books is exclusively male, implying that Ms. Pessl would not receive the recognition she deserves.

No list is bigger and fatter than the NYT’s. Ms. Pessl’s novel is on that list although not everyone is pleased to see it there. With a literary heritage that lincludes Ovid, Nabokov, Flaubert, and Flannery O’Connor SPECIAL TOPICS IN CALAMITY PHYSICS struck a chord with many critics and readers alike. This is success, my friends, with all the attendant frippery.

I am experiencing a moment of reverential awe after reading the LA Times account of Clive Cussler’s movie deal with Phillip Anschultz’s production company. Cussler signed a ten million dollar per book deal with Anschultz to bring the Dirk Pitt stories to the silver screen. That occurred back in the year 2000 presumably after the all clear was given in re the new milennium. Ten million dollars per book: who wouldn’t rush out and buy new pajamas for those chilly mornings at the keyboard?

The article remains coherent precisely because the LA Times factors in the vagaries of Hollywood in a way other newspapers could not. A good analogy might be covering the 1927 Yankees and you have to think of variations on the headline, YANKS WIN. After thumping the tribe and smacking the Senators you can see how difficult this task might be. If you write for the LA Times and the story is about Hollywood and law suits you have keep repeating the phrase, “a new writer was brought in, paid 500,000 dollars and fired. Then they were rehired to fix the script previously fixed by the old writer now living in disgrace on the proceeds of the previous rewrite lost forever in a parking lot incident.”

I’m just going to say this. I’d like to try the Hollywood approach. So far when I see a part of my manuscript isn’t working I just fix it. In the future I’m going to fire myself, probably after an exchange of vicious emails. Then I’ll offer to fix it for 500,000 dollars, get fired, get rehired, write some coverage on the back of a spiral notebook, get another 500,000 dollars and fire off another email. Wow, the scales are falling from my eyes. Here’s a headline: Yanks Pummel Pale Hose. I get it now, this is fun.

Catskill, New York: According to the Hudson Valley News erstwhile  author representative and publishing maven Martha Ivery has been sentenced to 65 months in jail for mail fraud. When she wasn’t being Martha Ivery, publisher of TIGE Books, she was Kelly O’Donnell, literary agent.  Martha and Kelly collected fees from would be authors: reading fees, illustration fees, publication fees, editing fees, but, lo, neither Martha nor Martha as Kelly ever published any books. In Greene County New York, that’s fraud, punishable by jail time. Greene County is mute on whether it will charge Martha a fee for prisoner duds, a fee for food, a fee for laundry service.

Of the two personas my favorite is Kelly. She sounds friendlier than Martha, and Kelly was one step removed from the naughty publishing scheme. Kelly dangled the promise of representation and only wanted to be compensated for reading submissions. After offering representation, Kelly turned to Martha to publish the books. Mean Martha said sure, but you gotta pay me cash. This left Kelly in a real bind.

As you can see this is a screenplay that writes itself. Free Kelly: based on actual events. Logline: I fell behind in my reading and went to jail! Where’s the justice?

When Judith Regan moved her imprint to Los Angeles, she made it clear she wanted to do tie-ins, books associated with television events, books that played to the popular culture. She wanted to redefine the way books and current events were presented to a mass audience. After all, headlines move fast. If Jimmy Olson were a cub reporter today, he’d probably be at a local television station, not the Daily Planet. Then again Jimmy might work for ReganBooks, writing copy for a celebrity weight lifter, bounty hunter, sous-chef. Jimmy might find that life with Ms. Regan moves faster than a speeding bullet.

She went three thousand miles to find OJ. He wasn’t missing, he sat atop the cultural slagheap of tarnished celebrity. OJ escaped justice but his freedom was vaccum locked by both his actions and the public perception that he’d gotten away with murder. OJ’s next headline would be an obituary. The collective consciousness would have one less fly buzzing around the room.

Hollywood execs are blown away by the brilliance of OJ’s hypothetical confession, the television tie-in, sweeps week, faltering ratings for Fox and, of course, by the book. Book sellers had to order the title without knowing the name of the author. Perhaps someone feared a backlash. Bill O’Reilly called the OJ book “a new low.”  That remains to be seen. Entertainment that defiles honest emotion will always seek its own level. Meanwhile our cub reporter can only marvel at the genius on display. Read all about it.

Michael Stephen Fuchs, author of THE MANUSCRIPT from Macmillan New Writing, dropped by to congratulate David Isaak and brought up the question of the launch party. Now that the earl is out of jail and Gus of Goth is between jobs, your reporter interviewed the earl who once remarked that “Thomas Pynchon is a party animal.”

“Given the distance between the UK and the US I suggest a cruise ship be hired,” the earl said. After shooting the stars with a sextant he pointed to a spot on the map. “Bermuda,” he said. “The launch party should be held in Bermuda.”

The earl envisions all of Macmillan New Writing’s cast of authors be “whisked” to Bermuda for ten days of company sponsored revelry. He recommends Southhampton where Waltraut Frothingmunster honeymooned, a trip captured in her memoire “Pynch Me, It’s Pynchon.”

Gus of Goth can handle the catering. “I’ll get Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson for the launch party,” Gus said. “They owe me big time.”

MacMillan UK will publish David Isaak’s TO SMITE THE WATERS under the auspices of its MacMillan New Writing imprint. MNW editor Will Atkins acquired the novel a few weeks ago; the contracts are signed and I don’t know the pub date but I’m guessing summer of 2007. David Isaak is the first American living in the US to be signed by MNW. A previous American author is residing in London.

SMITE is a very cool book as indeed all of David’s books are. I’ve read four of them in manuscript, and he and I have been to Kinko’s together for one of those print out your work moments before it’s due experiences. If it weren’t for David, I’d still be in Kinkos trying to use my major credit card under duress.

Why is David being published in the UK, but not the US? Why did Warren Moon play in the Canadian Football League? Moon threw about 500 touchdown passes in the NFL. It turned out he was a pretty good quarterback.

Score a big one for MacMillan UK. David wrote of Editor Will Atkins and MNW publicist Sophie Portas, “they are friendly, open, prompt, encouraging, and even welcoming. These people seem to like writers and like books.”

MNW prints a newsletter detailing the events planned as each new title is launched. German rights to Matt Curran’s THE SECRET WAR have been sold while a British production company has optioned another MNW title THE MANUSCRIPT by Michael Steven Fuchs.

MacMillan New Writing was launched as an over the transom author to publisher imprint that doesn’t look at work submitted by literary agents. The theory is that this approach keeps the cost of acquiring fiction down while launching careers of authors agents may have overlooked or been unable to place. Some UK agents reacted harshly to MNW’s business model. Michael Barnard, the Macmillan exec who created MNW, wrote a book called The Transparent Imprint that spells out his vision.

Congratulations to David Isaak and MNW.

Election Day: While America heads to the polls and Seattle recovers from a visit from Da Raiders on Monday Night, a number of inexplicable events have escaped the notice of the media, events worth exploring. For instance you may have noticed that it was raining indoors at Qwest Field last night. It might be time for the president to fly over western Washington as most of the rivers have left their banks and Portland, far to the south, had an earthquake. How are we going to see Borat if this keeps up?

Publishers Weekly reports that St. Martin’s Press is publishing Posh, a novel written by “Lucy Jackson” a woman who does not exist, well, an author who does not exist as “Lucy Jackson.” Paula Zahn will stop by later to ask what this means before bearding Wolf Blitzer in his den. Here’s my take on Posh: Senior Editor Elizabeth Beier, who is editing Posh, has her wits about her. She thinks the author wishes to remain anonymous because of her “connection to the world she writes about.” Maria Massie, the author’s agent, notes that her client is a notable literary author and that  releasing a commercial novel under a psuedonym makes sense as a career move. The scary thing? It does make sense. “Lucy Jackson” has received great reviews but disappointing sales although not as “Lucy Jackson” but as herself, whoever that may be. And, because of this blog entry, Posh will rocket to the top in Japan, Costa Rica, parts of Italy and the Russian Federation.

It must be a little strange for the writer and her editor because by the time Posh is released the secret will be out. Then the author will discuss the ploy rather than the book which has a somewhat weird vibe of Joe versus the Volcano or Lucy in the Sky with Bookscan.

By the way VP Dick Cheney announced plans for a hunting trip today. If you’re a Republican lawyer, you might want Kevlar up or keep a low profile.

Dateline Wellington Leg: Scientists at the Bog Institute have developed a fully automated book writing program they call Flying Fingers. Doctor Ernst Kartoffelsalat made the announcement from the upper balcony of the Institute to a crowd of writers, critics, and professional mourners. Some of them were still in their Halloween costumes for Famous Writers Day, a Wellington Leg tradition. This column was written using the fully automated Flying Fingers approach, with the optional blindfold and cigarette.

This is how it works: while you sleep your thoughts are scanned by a flashlight and uploaded into a small tube. The tube is carefully crushed in a large vat then poured into a computer. After a few moments in a stainless steel tank the computer is plugged in and your book is pulverized, subjected to extreme heat, then extruded into the familiar book like shape so dear to tradionalists.

“We wanted the tactile experience,” Dr. Kartoffelsalat said. His roman a clef, Entropy in Cannes, came out to a clap of thunder and a brief power outage.

“This will revolutionize writing,” said efficiency expert Otto von Otto. “And, it will order moo shoo pork.” Make sure your flashlight has a fresh battery. Otherwise the program will plagiarize work already stored in memory and it will short circuit and the author will become a Nevada domiciled corporation enjoying certain tax advantages but suffering withering critical fire.

The Book Will Write Itself is not available in stores. Try not to think about Rocky & Bullwinkle episodes near bedtime. So far all of the stories are about a talking squirrel who owns a Way Back Machine. That’s derivative, people. I’m looking at you, Dick Cheney. Dish it baby.

The Village Voice chose Sara Gran’s novel Dope as their choice for best noir novel set in New York City. Check out the details at Sara’s blog, the link to which is on the right ( sentence translated from the original Yiddish.) Jenny Davidson’s Light Reading was named their favorite local blog. They also mentioned two of my favorite films: Do the Right Thing from Spike Lee and the fabulous Wanderers from Richard Price’s novel of the same name. All in all an incredible burst of good taste from the Voice.

Local mystery solved: Hizzoner’s Hairpiece was located on the ninth floor balcony of Irgud’s House of Sushi on Gustave Mahler Close. DCI Borchardt and the Flying Squad followed a series of elaborate clues leading from Mad Hatter Park through the historic Rotunda and Reflecting Pond, past the D. Rumsfeld Preschool, through the Serpentine.  Borchardt and his team forded the stream rather than use the foot bridge. This led to reports of “squishing sounds” from a Mr. Thor Thorsen of Valhalla Lane. Reached on his cellular telephone, Borchardt doubled back to investigate the squishing sound which resulted in several more complaints.

With the Earl imprisoned the investigation quickly turned to the giraffes in Mad Hatter Park. “We suspect Pinky, a full grown male giraffe, may have lifted Hizzoner’s hairpiece and deposited it at Irgud’s House of Sushi,” Borchardt told reporters. A cache of stolen toupees was recovered. “You don’t have to be Harry Bosch to put two and two together,” Borchardt continued. Pinky will be questioned as soon as an extension ladder is located. If you have an extension ladder please contact the Wellington Leg Police Department. Don’t use the “squishing sound” hotline. Call the switchboard.

Dateline: Publishers Row. Publishing executives in New York are concerned that their fall releases will overwhelm the stalwart handful of readers lurking in these United States. Due to the nature of licensing agreements they are not worried about readers beyond these shores even though they add up to about one billion people. One third of the readers of this blog reside outside the US; this is an international operation.

Simon & Schuster reached out to bloggers to garner reviews for Imperium: A Novel of Ancient Rome. They did not to reach out to this reporter despite the fact this blog contains three Roman legions, albeit sporadically, that is, whenever they attack Wellington Leg. What in the name of viral marketing does that imply?

Daniel Menaker, President of Random House, compared the Web to a teenager’s bedroom. Abandon all hope ye who enter here. He goes on to say that the Web cannot be ignored which I think means that a teenager’s bedroom can be. Random House is sending Charles Frazier on the road by means of the automobile, a relatively new technology still prone to mechanical breakdown.

Jerome Kramer of Kirkus Reviews says “publishing is caught up in the blockbuster mentality,” not a new observation, but apt perhaps in this backend loaded flood of holiday time releases. Many believe the publishing industry is looking to Hollywood to explain the business model of crisis management. Hollywood produces bad products with quick turnaround times. My thought on the subject is this: have confidence in what you publish and develop a modern distribution system. Bookstores offer a Depression era model of terms of trade, By that I mean thier policy of retuning unsold books. So the anxiety in New York really isn’t about the books, but the way they are bought and sold.

I think this awkward relationship has been left by the side of the road, not by design, but through the brutal efficiency of technology. The angst approaches the existential when book people contemplate the obvious question, who is the consumer? How will the need to connect with readers play against the fearsome power of a handful of buyers? If you’re placing too much product into too small a funnel, do you fix the product, produce fewer books, or get a new funnel? That’s the business problem facing Publishers Row.