Wellington Aerodrome: I’m standing near the fog enshrouded departure apron at Wellington Aerodrome. Not far from the entrance a man in a fedora is kissing a woman while a Vichy official looks on. A small plane idles on the tarmac; yes, it’s the beginning of the earl’s author tour. The man of the hour is seated atop a stack of steamer trunks…I think he’s dozed off.
From Goth to Henley Hornbrook: 43′s tour will take him north to Goth where he first achieved fame in the overflow parking lot adjacent to COSTCO. Few can forget how he drove back three Roman legions by simply reading aloud from his seminal work Voltaire’s Miasma. 43 returned to Wellington Leg a hero, with MIssion Accomplished emblazoned on his customized Wellbryd.
Layoffs Looming: In an ironic note security will be provided by Roman soldiers made redundant in November’s massive layoffs. That’s why the Tower is festooned with Latin phrases pilots can’t read. After landing his homemade three wheeler and taxiing to a halt local air freight hauler Wendell Wilkie waved his copy of Caesar’s Conquest. “I thought Gaul was divided into three parts,” he complained. “Now it’s only two.”
43 Awakens: As Wendell refueled the forty third earl rolled off the steamer trunks, down the taxi way and onto the active runway. The famed north south runway can receive aeroplanes larger than oxen according to the Aerodrome’s breathless brochure. “Save the earl,” someone cried, but there was little enthusiasm as he rolled on before disappearing onto the Tenth tee of the exclusive Netherly Hills Country Club.
The man kissing the blond shakes hands with the Vichy official, claps Wendell on the back and says,”Fly her out of here.”
At this writing the fate of 43′s author tour in unclear. This is cub reporter Tuffy Tuffington covering the literary beat.