Gastropod Stadium: The annual spring fashion show at the Fighting Gastropods home field turned ugly late Saturday when an errant throw injured a wandering PreRafaelite, sources close to the ground report. The traditional throwing of the first hat marks the beginning of Fashion Week in Wellington Leg. This year the week will be three days long in order to conserve energy.
There was applause from the Royal Box as Boris of Paris crossed the basepaths; this marked the first time that a designer from the outside world, in this case France, was asked to throw the first hat from the pitchers mound into the glove of Miss Wellington Leg whose crown and scepter are the envy of many.
Displaying a high leg kick and strange arm angle Boris of Paris unleashed a pillbox with black veil. The dazzling chapeau eluded Miss Wellington Leg, landing on the head of Alfredo Garcia seated in the first row. Momentarily dazed, Mr.Garcia a distinguished professor of Art, threw a box of popcorn at Boris of Paris.
Both benches emptied before the umpiring crew separated the fashion designers from the painters in attendance. Later, Boris refused to apologize. “I blame Miss Wellington Leg,” he said. “She called for a fast ball.”
Checking the head of Alfredo Garcia: local tree surgeon Bobby Oaks checked Garcia’s wound and signaled thumbs up to the Royal Box.
Tickets to Fashion Week are available at the box office.
T. Rex Love-Handles reporting.