Wellington Leg: In a stunning turn of events the Druidical & Literary has learned that the 43rd Earl will defend his title against a Usurper from Utica. At stake is the rank of chevalier, the duties of Champion of the Leg, the right to wear the distinctive chevron of Herself Fanning Herself and the forbearance of the Piggy Bank in all matters financial. “43 has a lot riding on this,” noted Professor Moriarty, the man often accused of killing Sherlock Holmes. “He’s been Champion since orchestrating a ghastly reenactment of Henry the Fifth’s victory at Agincourt. What began as Shakespeare in the Park soon devolved into a shooting war with France and Wales.”
43 Caught Napping? Little is known of the Usurper but the D&L has learned on an exclusive basis that no one checked into the Hotel Faz last night. However a press conference has been scheduled for 3pm to coincide with both Question Time and Nap Time at the Historic Rotunda.
Have You Seen the Usurper? “It is probable that the Usurper from Utica will seek to disguise his presence in Wellington Leg,” Professor Moriarty continued. “Most Usurpers clatter into Towne aboard massive steeds many hands high brandishing lances and demanding satisfaction.”
One possible suspect is Gargantua. He and his son Pantagruel are in towne for the annual peasant tossing contest at the Faire Grounds and Oval. Gargantua has retained the services of the Mothra Removal Service, Wellington Leg’s premier public relations firm. “If Gargantua wanted to be Champion,” said an MRS press release. “He’d already be the champ.”
For his part Pantagruel was observed sneering near the Statue of the Earl on Horseback. With no word from the Palace at this writing it remains unclear whether the Dowager Princess would approve of a new Champion. It is known that she passed the evening watching NFL Highlights from a Forgotten Era after destroying her Privy Council at Texas Hold ‘em.
T. Rex Love-Handles reporting.