Wellington Leg: The relentless news cycle suffered a curious interruption late yesterday: nothing happened. Oh sure, the Literary Faire Committee held a parade in honor of Prudentia’s victory last year. Members of the Towne Council stood on the reviewing stand wearing uniforms bedecked with medals and ribbons saluting as formations of writers straggled by. Pretty boring until Brenda’s flyover. Wow, that MIG is fast! Hizzoner hit the deck when he saw her coming, but the damage was minimal. Good thing because all the mayor’s horses and some of his men are on summer holiday. It took months to reassemble Hizzoner at who knows what cost to out strained budget.
I didn’t believe in global warming but now I do! During the Writer Review I ducked into Eddie’s Book Nook for an ice cream cone. Eddie has a cool statue of Eugene O’Neill and fourteen flavors of ice cream. Anyway my ice cream melted! I’m like, dude, this is science in action. Eddie has a strict return policy: he wouldn’t refund my money. Now I’m a victim of Global Warming.
The writer parade would be more fun if they had tanks and stuff. Some of the writers were panhandling during the Inaugural Address which is really not cool. The first runner up won a Smythe Oven with two extra slots so you can make four pieces of toast instead of two. I’m so jealous! With a four slot oven I could make two days worth of toast all at once and be that far ahead of the game the next day.
By the way a lot of you complained about my use of personal pronouns in the last Tuffington Post. Thanks for the heads-up. I hope I don’t review any movies like THEM anytime soon! Or write for US. After a week of being a reporter I think it’s time to get a paying gig.
Wish me luck!
Tuffy Tuffington.