Wellington Leg: Frustrated by low pay and work place exploitation some of the Towne’s more ambitious zombies may soon form Local 456 of the Undead and Extremely Pale, sources at city hall report. Wellington Leg is a magnet for some zombies, probably metal ones, although city ordnances discourage zombies from many ordinary activities. For example, it is against the law here in the Leg to walk through walls or crush Volkswagons even if a movie director wants you to.
Demand is High: Unemployment among zombies has remained stable despite a tendency at the big box stores to hire the living. “Let’s face it, we’re in a megatrend here,” says Professor Wigand of the Blago Institute. “The undead are a cultural phenomenon. They deserve a union. The time is now.”
Sunday is Rush Day: Just a reminder that today is Rush day in the Leg. Police have set up roadblocks and are stopping drivers who don’t resemble Rush Limbaugh. “This regulation is tough on women and children,” a city hall official admitted. Four year old Ashley of Goth was arrested last Sunday even though she hopes that President Obama will fail.
“Ashley doesn’t resemble Rush,” said Constable Constable. “She probably shouldn’t have been driving in any case,” he added.
The ban on the Unlimbaugh expires at midnight.