Wellington Leg: The annual Literary Faire is undergoing a major revamp, sources tell the Druidical & Literary. This year’s extravaganza will be held during the summer according to the French Revolution calendar hanging in the earl’s garage, perhaps in Germinal or Floreal. “The losers in each categories will be guillotined,” said a spokesperson for Chaire of the Faire, Prudentia Chalfont-Smythe. “We hope that the forty third earl will lose,” she added. “His head in a basket would suit us just fine.”
Despite the passive voice sentence construction observers believe that Chalfont-Smythe is serious this time about asserting literary hegemony throughout the Bailiwick of Leg, the adjoining Vale of the White Mouse, indeed as far as the eye can see. With Poetry Futures hovering near the flat line on the Piltdown Exchange many believe that now is the time for “an overthrow of the literary establishment.” Traders at the Live Writers Pit have lost millions in recent weeks as both stockage and bondage fell through the floor. Not since the ill-fated live cattle auction last fall have so many frittered away so much so fast.
43 to Face Gargantua? Complicating matters for the earl is the challenge of defending his title against Rabelaisian Pretender Gargantua. Whispers about the challenge became louder than that, louder than a whisper, perhaps a murmur, after Chalfont-Smythe invited Gargantua over for tea late yesterday afternoon. While their discussions were held in strictest confidence reporters from the Wellington Leg World Service speculate that the tea party may have been a shot across the bow or a slap in the face or even a long walk off a short pier since Gargantua took a bit of a tumble after tripping over a cardboard likeness of the earl. Luckily his fall was broken by an assemblage of paparazzi concealed in the garden.
Guillotine Construction May be Stimulative: As a sidebar to the main story our own Tuffy Tuffington has been all over Hizzoner’s pledge to hire local workers in the Great Guillotine Reconstruction Program launched recently at the Guild Hall. “The project is hammer ready,” Tuffy reports from his vantage point on the ceiling of the Historic Rotunda. Eventually fourteen of the devices will roll off the assembly line, ready for export.
T. Rex Love-Handles reporting.