Wellington Leg: Fashion Week kicked off in Wellington Leg despite the absence of designer sensation, the Forty Third Earl. His new line of geezer wear is the talk of fashionistas gathering here for the Runway Spectacle at Wellington Aerodrome. Fashion Week will inaugurate the controversial third runway opposed by John McCain as wasteful but supported by Barack Obama who is wistful. “I think an airport overrun by feral hogs is a public works nightmare,” said a spokesperson for Wellington Haute Couture. “But the Geezer line is red hot.”
Handle With Care: The Earl’s Geezer jeans are a blend of synthetic and artificial fibers, monomers, polymers, remaindered books, and shark’s teeth that not only look great but never need pressing! In fact, ironing those jeans may be dangerous, according to Marvelous Marv who sported a pair of the pale blue Cerulean Model jeans with White Belt. “I tried ironing my pair,” Marv said. “As soon as the iron made contact with the trousers there was a big explosion and I was thrown four hundred feet or about one hundred and seventy meters into the air. When I came to, I thought I was Carmen Elektra.”
Ironing Becomes Elektra: Geezer Jeans come in a variety of hardy styles: straight leg, boot leg, dogleg, and, of course, Wellington Leg. The Wellington model features a Warning Label which depicts the aftermath of pressing the jeans, a miniature mushroom cloud on a backdrop of Pacific Atoll. Sex appeal? Guys wearing the Earl’s Own Geezer Jeans sum up the experience this way: Babe Magnet. “The ladies see the DO NOT IRON warning label and go crazy,” Marv said.
Accessories: With Geezer Jeans you can swap that white belt for a yellow one and clip your cellular telephone( you don’t have to be home to make a call) to the Cellular Phone Belt Loop made of durable Chinese aluminum. You can personalize your garment with rich Earlcron triple polyester slogans like “The Red Sox Suck.”
Young Guys Love ‘em too: Our own Tuffy Tuffington sported a pair recently while chasing down a Breaking Story for the Druidical & Literary: “I can’t breathe,” Tuffy said. “But I look great.”
Fashion Week is a two day event this year. T. Rex Love-Handles reporting.