Fannie and Freddy: Frannie and Zooey
Thursday, July 24th, 2008Wellington Leg: A bailout plan for Fannie and Freddie has been expanded to include Frannie and Zooey according to unnamed sources far removed from the matter. Billions of “silly dollars” instruments that resemble real dollars are to be funneled through the Z Window to assist fictional duos whose fame may have withered over time. This is not going to cost the American taxpayer a penny because silly dollars are issued in lieu of real currency. “Eventually the silly dollars will be gathered or harvested and placed in grain silos where they will gradually decay,” said Treasury Undersecretary Lars Lander. “in exchange holders will receive colorful documents with stamps and filigrees and swirly things.”
Good Deal: Though popular with students of literature Frannie and Zooey are not backed by the full faith and credit of the United States. Under new omnibus legislation literary couples may be eligible for federally mandated programs such as Oeuvre Rehabilitation. Originally designed to enhance the performance of chickens many close to the legislation feel that chickens have enough on their minds. “The stress of being a chicken or being a writer is compounded by Oeuvre production quotas imposed by the marketplace,” Mr. Lander said. “We now have the means to permit these creatures a margin of error should the unthinkable happen.”
Lars Lander is no relation to Mars Lander, Mr. Lander added.
Harold and Maude? The federal intervention is not specific to the film industry although no exclusion exists to prevent a similar program for Hollywood. A Starsky and Hutch Proviso is stalled in conference and may not be enacted before the August Recess.
A Chicken in Every Plot? Technically only books that feature chickens are eligible for the Fannie and Freddy subsidy. “I think a character could eat chicken if it makes sense to the story,” Mr. Landers noted. The legislative anomaly may lead to a groundswell of chicken protagonists similar to the Giant Squid Situation a few years back.
T. Rex Love-Handles reporting for Wellington Leg Legislative Spotlight.