Wellington Leg: When word arrived in towne that feisty Arizona senator John McCain may have slipped out of Rick Warren’s Cone of Silence, city inspectors fanned out across the Bailiwick to inspect our own cones. In an exclusive to the Druidical & Literary Goth Bureau Chief T. Rex Love-Handles spent a week inside a cone near Henley Hornbrook. He filed this report despite the auditory deprivation he experienced while “coned.”
Cone of Silence 17: Cone 17 is typical of a cone of silence resembling as it does the inverted yield curve. As a test I entered the cone while moderator Rick Warren posed questions to Senator Barrack Obama. I pressed my ear against the wall and heard Senator Obama sing “If I were a Rich Man.” Wow, he has a good voice.
Then I overheard Senator McCain plans to invade Florida! How can I get my scoop to the outside world from in here? I wondered. I was hoping that cub reporter Tuffy Tuffington could help out. Later I learned he was trapped inside the Double Cone with Two Scoops he couldn’t report either.
Cone Improvement Plan: A consortium of international construction and engineering firms are preparing bids for Triple Cone membranes made from durable Big Gulp containers and space debris. City Manager Freiherr Graf von Sitzbaedchen wants to use porcelain inlays to defeat possible cheating by cone of silence occupants. “We locked Hizzoner inside a porcelain throne room,” he said. “Then we told jokes about him.”
Hizzoner didn’t hear a thing. “That’s a marvelous cone of silence technology,” he said. “But it’s way too expensive.”
Cone of Silence inspections will continue for several weeks. Geraldo reporting for Silence is Golden.