Wellington Leg: In a burgeoning scandal surrounding the Welllington Kennel Club, it now appears that best in show recipient Starbuck is actually a local writer. As everyone in Towne already knows Starbuck, a winged Dalmatian, captured the coveted blue ribbon during the televised event held at local pub I Was the Only Running Footman. The winner was observed smoking a cigarette and laughing in the alley behind the pub shortly after his victory lap with owner Viscount Drudge.
His Elaborate Disguise: Not since an antelope won the Short Story Contest has Wellington Leg seen such a bold hoax. DCI Borchardt of the Flying Squad has obtained warrants based on the eye witness testimony of fake dog Bruno of Colfax. “Bruno went undercover during the recent pageant disguised as a Nattering Nabob. He won Viscount Drudge’s confidence who revealed to Bruno that Starbuck was unemployed writer Lloyd London.”
Who is Lloyd London? The Tuffington Post has learned that Mr. London has retained the services of the Mothra Removal Service, Towne’s most prominent PR firm who issued the following statement: “Whether or not Starbuck is a dog he is the clear winner of the Wellington Kennel Club’s Blue Ribbon and is, as such, entitled to the privileges obtaining thereto. We are not acknowledging guilt nor claiming innocence but rather demanding our due.”
He’s Going to Disneyland: “Starbuck” is booked on a flight from Wellington Aerodrome for the faraway city of Los Angeles, DCI Borchardt notes. “Why would a dog leave town after winning the blue ribbon? A real dog would want to stay right here and enjoy the fruits of victory.”
Aer Wellington reports that several dozen dogs are flying out that day begging the question, were they all humans disguised as dogs?
Tuffy Tuffington reporting.