Wellington Leg: Local residents pelted the Tuffington Post with fresh eggs yesterday after the Post made its debut near the Historic Rotunda. Although clearly marked with signage left over the McCain campaign several people collided with the post while hurrying from hizzoner’s bribery trial. Mrs. Scout Defore of Henley Hornbrook bruised her ankle when she rode her scooter through the phalanx of indicted officials all of whom are innocent until proven guilty. “I saw the Tuffington Post out of the corner of my eye,” she said. “I know it’s a blog and I’ve never collided with a blog before.”
Painful Lesson: Members of the Wellington Leg Constabulary cordoned off Mrs. Defore, her scooter, and state senator Foghorn Leghorn later identified as an escaped chicken; it’s not clear whether Mrs. Defore swerved to avoid Senator Leghorn or a holographic image of Wolf Blitzer. “We know that he’s a chicken,” said a spokesperson for the Towne. “But he’s never missed a roll call.”
Where is Tuffy? The incident at the Rotunda begs the question, where is Tuffy? After a hard hitting series on the demise of the publishing business, the Druidical & Literary Editorial Board assigned young Tuffy to the mayor’s corruption trial that began last week. “He’s deep undercover,” a D&L editor said. “Although he should not have parked his blog so close to the courthouse.”
Don’t Even Think About Blogging Here: Though dogged in his support of feisty Arizona senator John McCain Foghorn Leghorn had dropped from the public eye since election day. Some speculate that Leghorn feared exposure after someone close to the McCain camp called him a chicken. “Perhaps young Tuffy was getting close to exposing a scandal within a scandal within a conspiracy,” said a passerby in a Hawaiian shirt. “I know the Heisman voting is rigged,” he added.
A bright red stripe is now painted down the center of the Tuffington Post with the word “Achtung!” inscribed in the margin. “Choosing a German word saved money,” said Comptroller Carl. “Otherwise we’d have to write “Watch Out for the Tuffington Post!” This explanation seems preposterous as many Legians read the word “Achtung!” but fail to alter course. “We’re going to have more collisions,” DCI Borchardt warned. A few minutes later Borchardt himself fell victim, walking into the Post while trying to recall his high school German vocabulary.
Eintritt Verboten reporting.