Wellington Leg: Not far from the Imperial Bunker Wellington Leg Defense forces launched a counterattack designed to drive the disabled invaders from home soil. With Wellbryds in the lead the home side hefted their pitchforks and donned their protective head gear on loan from the Fighting Gastropods. Buoyed by the latest Tuffington Post and by martial music blaring from the Royal Hi Fi things looked good until the force marched onto the Alderspike Highway where one of the men in the lead formation saw a “really big spider.”
How Big is Really Big? For a towne that has confronted Godzilla at a book signing a spider conjures no fear among local residents. None of the “Wellbryds” who are really oxen with mirrors taped to their heads, seemed alarmed despite their aversion to most arachnids. “Wellbryds get excellent mileage but tend to rear or stall when a spider enters their field of vision,” explained Professor Moriarity. “Half ton Chevy pickups have the edge in this regard,” he added.
Scouts Disagree: With the column halted Prinz Eugen ordered literary scouts to ride forth into the brush and bramble in search of the spider in question. A Russian artillery barrage may have killed the spider according to the lead scout Mr. Hazy. “I saw a bomb crater the size of bathtub, man,” he said. Spiders are notorious for their enjoyment of bathtubs but in this case none were visible.
Summoning the Earl: Exhausted from autographing hundreds of armored vehicles the forty third earl nevertheless interrupted his middle nap to search for the spider. It should be noted that middle nap is a crucial time for the earl since his most creative ideas occur shortly after he wakes up. Sources say he invented the Wellbryd after one such nap inspired by the arrival in his garden of a solitary mirrored ox.
Until the spider is located an informal truce is in effect.
T. Rex Love-Handles reporting.